Poem for the day etc

'....you're listening to BBC Radio Wales...the time is....' -

REJ:- Jesus Iesu Mawr Christ!!! I am too! -

RADIO:- ...coming up to nine o'clock...

REJ:- *glance!* So it is indeed! -

RADIO:- ...its 19 degrees and sunny in Llanfihangel-y-Creuddun...

REJ:- Ok its getting spooky now. What colour socks am I wearing? -

RADIO:- You're not wearing any socks -

REJ:- Wel y Diawl...

RADIO:- And you're wearing last week's pants -

REJ:- *click!...off!* Sioned! Sioned! I said we shouldn't have gone digital -

SIONED:- Aren't you going to explain my implausible reappearance first? -

REJ:- er...lets see...there was an earthquake....and glyn-the-milk's high-tech, high-spec, hyundai pick-up -

SIONED:- I see. You're not bothering. I'm just a cheap comedic device to you am I? -

REJ:- Iesu Mawr, its started already...

SIONED:- What was that Emmanuel Jones?! -

REJ:- er...er...Sioned! I think the cat's trying to tell me something! -

*poke!...miaow!*

I think he wants me to follow him!

SIONED:- ?@*! -

REJ:- What's that Bobbie?....someone's in danger? What?...the Red Lion? -

SIONED:- *clunk!*

REJ:- *Ooof!*

SIONED:- *Slam!*

REJ:- Stupid cat! Why didn't you say y Llew Du? Sioned was bound to know the Red Lion's not open yet -

*hoof!*....*yowl!*

REJ:- Never mind. Gadewch i ni weld who we have enguestulated today. Why it's none other than Ifan Penweddwch. Hmmm...now who's he then? -

IP:- Haven't you made me up yet? -

REJ:- No idea. Are you the butcher? -

IP:- Nope -

REJ:- The doctor?-

IP:- Do I look like a doctor? -

REJ:- You could have been struck off -

IP:- Try something else -

REJ:- Do a mime -

IP:- *mime!* -

REJ:- I've got it! Gynaecologist -

IP:- No, postman. The parcel got stuck. I expect you'll be wanting to hear my latest poem -

REJ:- If it means you'll leave quicker.

IP:-

'An alphabet of letters,
Just four to fill my sack,
I ring your bell, deliver well,
And that explains our Jack'.

REJ:- You forgot Uracil -

IP:- I use Daz -

REJ:- ffs. Return to Sender -

IP:- There's a 20p overcharge -

REJ:- Sorry I'm not known at this address.