As Imperial College hastily tweeted they'd never heard of Mr Ferguson, or his Swedish model, Norwegian blue boffins expressed surprised dismay that their most doddery ex-patients could not have coped better with 'cooking up a bit'.
'May cook up a bit' was written in very small on the leaflet, not as small as absent, like 'may not prevent transmission', but still really very small indeed'. Said someone I've just made up. 'We're trying it on the younger immuno-fucked now, as we can't guess how it will go. How would you like to live in an iron-lung? I thought so', he parroted.
Anti-vax conclusions are writ large in every 19th century graveyard, but things have moved on, and with a more remarkable track record than Ben Johnson, Pfizer boss, Albert Moolah explained he was pleased to announce he had achieved 100% immunity.
'I scheduled selling my shares at a most fortunate time. Sometimes I think I can see the future'.
Conspiracy factualists were left red-faced when intensive fainting nurse Tiffany made a rare live appearance shortly after her pre-existing condition was made up. But one man in particular was never going to be fooled by the tin-hatters, and that was Mr Dover.
'That's my wife, yes. The one with the bigger hooters'.