The strange case of Dr. Bendi:- part the third, of one hundred, and quite enough to be getting on with for now diolch yn fawr iawn.

.....and they will! they will say it Richard! they will say they don't want to live in a computer!...in a feeble simulation of reality!....in an artificial model!....that is what they will say!....the ghost-people!....the magic men!...and menywod!....they will say they prefer to live in authentic reality!!!....whoop!....whoop!....as if they see in microwaves!!!.....as if they are not machines!....as if they are not computers!....tic!...tic!....Kapliiiiiink!...they will say they will shun the silicon rapture!....because they prefer a superior reality!....and that is why they will jump first!....the irony!....delicious!....immortality shall be the death of us!!!...mmmnnnnnssskk!!!...

*click!*

REJ:- Aw!...ffwrch y Diawl!!!....*slam!* -

Dr.B:- Goodbye Richard!, I've got to go myself in three hours -

REJ:- *screeeeeech!...beep!...beep!* -

Dr.B:- Now there was something important I had to say about probability....probability and happiness....hmmmm.....something about memory compression too....and DNA transcription....yes...Bendi-epigenetics....yes that was it! - something about that....hmmmm....I'll tell it to this plant pot -

Plantpot:- *-*

Dr.B:- Indeed. So we talked about constructive versus destructive projection, and the probabilities of reciprocal affection. There are no laws - that would be absurd - and the only law that there isn't is that there are no laws. That is not a law! -

Plantpot:- *-*

Dr.B:- Good point. But wrong. There are no laws. So the energy in a room may spontaneously gather in a solid block of metal and the metal heat up, yet the probabilities are the other way, and blocks of metal cool....yet there is no law...just more places that are not the metal block! kaddrrriiiiing! -

Plantpot:- *-*

Dr.B:- Well only if you are pedantic. It's not a law really. Please don't interrupt mid-soaring! -

Plantpot:- *-*

Dr.B:- Now, no bird soars too high with it's own wings Icarus, but Dr.Bendi is wingless! Wheep! Wheep!...and I'm approaching hyperdrive!...the cogs are melting!...the cogs are melting! -

Plantpot:- *-*

Dr.B:- And so the probabilities of mutual affection flow surely







*******drivel in progress*******

The strange case of Dr. Bendi:- part the second, of one hundred.

....and thus morality is a cultural artefact, an extended phenotypical expression, trivially obviously so, immaterial! yet mapped in material, automatic and with greater clarity in plant altruism as I said, - only clearer to speciesists of course! there are speciesists, Richard!, and anyone who searches for morality is as dumb as someone who searches for the average IQ. Even if they're called Sam....

*click!*

REJ:- Iesu Mawr Grist Emmanuel Diawl!!! - you're still here!!! -

Dr.B:- Bore da, Richard! -

REJ:- Bore da...er...have you been talking all night?....er....to nobody? -

Dr.B:- The merit of a performance does not depend on it's audience, Richard. There is none fit to clap me anyway. I really don't mind that neither you nor Sioned gave me the clap - and I had heard -

REJ:- Watch it Bendiboy! -

Dr.B:- Yes, that is what they said. Now, moving on -

REJ:- What did I miss last night? - I mean, if I were interested. Which I'm not. No-one is -

Dr.B:- I'm not a preacher, Richard. You missed the end of humanity, the silicon rapture, the cashmere revolution, mind re-mapping and the dendritic decision delta, justice scale-weighting in the biological bible, the evolution of consciousness, which doesn't exist, the -

REJ:- Well Duw! what a shame I have to wash my hair! -

Dr.B:- That won't take long! - don't mind me, Richard. Now...there was something very important I had to say about numbers... -

REJ:- * - 07985294774!....Sioned!...he's still here!!!....What?!....I did!.....yes I did!....I just didn't do what you said.....* -

Dr.B:- Ah yes! - there are only 3 or 4 people in the world, ten at the most -

REJ:- *....it's like he's on some kind of continuous loop....what?....well I thought you were just being stupid....no!...no! I didn't mean....not like that!.....no don't hang up!....tell me what to do!....* -

Dr.B:- archetypes! that's the word you were looking for! Ideas I mean. There are only 3 or 4 ideas in the world, ten at the most -

REJ:- *....yes....in the shed.....it will be in the shed.....yes....yes....then what?....yes....yes....yes.....to crack a nut. Very good. Da iawn Sioned you ff - *click!...* - Dammo! -

Dr.B:- and though 10 billion would fit in Wales -

REJ:- Is that ideas or people? -

Dr.B:- Yes. And cast off their mortal shackles would fit happily in your pants drawer there -

REJ:- That's my socks drawer -

Dr.B:- pants, socks - the nature of the material platform is of no consequence -

REJ:- I always wanted to try drugs...-

Dr.B:- Although unconnected would now uninfluence future events, hmmm...the inter-self buffering in the symbiotic hypermind would seem to be a problem in the alternate case....Ooops! I said all this last night! there was something important I had to say about numbers -

REJ:- Well I wouldn't mind a go on your magic abacus you -

Dr.B:- Ah yes! Please don't interrupt, Richard - it will take longer if I have to explain it. There are 200 people in the world -

REJ:- 5 to 10 years for manslaughter...

Dr.B:- 200 country-people! the self is fluid! whoop! whoop! drrrrrring! - yes the self-concept is fluid, Richard and may extend beyond the periphery of the body to incorporate tools, or countries -

REJ:- Just carry on...

Dr.B:- the self-concept is projected to incorporate nation! Kadrrring! tic! tic! - and is modelled as super organism and mirror-neuroned offense and defense empathy in the personal self! The personal self that thinks it is a nation! And talks to flags! And like the haplodiploid sacrifice for the hive, the sums make sense though the actions don't...

REJ:- Fuck this! *click!* *slam!*

Dr.B:- And though what is nobody's business is never nogene's business and we are all in each other, all waves but all water, the oneness of geneticity, the homeopathy of kin selection is invalid in this case as I explained last night, and will again, and the decision delta, dendritic in nature, as I may have said, may be dammed and diverted upstream at the higher self, without the map of the downstream! - without understanding! hox thoughts! the subconscious being previous imprinted conscious and conscious being an illusion, but the perfect illusion, the...

The strange case of Dr. Bendi:- part the first, of one hundred.

Descartes presupposed logic, Hume said facts don't exist - and that's a fact, Immanuel - Oooh! - I think I saw one of her films! -

Dr.B:- Just read the card! -

REJ:- Well I've lost my place now. You made me jump -

Dr.B:- You can stop now -

REJ:- Is it charged up enough? -

Dr.B:- You've completely spoilt the intro.....*chhhhnnnn!*....*whir!*...yes it's going now -

REJ:- Can I get off the trampoline? -

Dr.B:- I can't see any trampoline, Richard, so -

REJ:- Alright! alright! - can I get off the dynamotransergorator? -

Dr.B:- What do you say?! -

REJ:- Can I get off the dynamotransergorator os gwelwch yn dda? -

Dr.B:- I've forgotten which of the nine words for yes I should use, so have the Queen's 'yes' -

REJ:- God bless her! - er...you're not from machynlleth are you? -

Dr.B:- Remember your Popper, Richard -

REJ:- Popper...induction....verisimilitude....I'm not dead....Oooh! you're not.

Dr.B:- We're all dead, Richard, consciousness is an illusion, the perfect illusion, that's why it's not there when you try to find it! Because it's not there! Do the bit about Sam Harris -

REJ:- Descartes...Hume....Popper....Sam Harris -

Dr.B:- *snort!*

REJ:- Why did you put Sam in there? -

Dr.B:- Part comedy, part cruelty. You'll see more of my parts later -

REJ:- Indeed. I already have inthought. Now Sioned said something about not letting you in -

Dr.B:- Words of wisdom, Richard, words of wisdom. I'm high as a kite! and my string is taught and fraying!...it may snap!....whoop! whoop!...my beautiful tail!....look at the ribbons!...I'm soaring!...my beautiful tail!....dancing in the sky!...-

REJ:- Yes well you can stay as long as you don't say anything silly. Sioned said you might say something silly -

Dr.B:- There's no danger of that! None whatsoever. As a matter of fact I was going to talk about numbers -

REJ:- Numbers? - well that sounds -

Dr.B:- Yes numbers. Numbers and ghosts -

REJ:- hmmm...

Dr.B:- There are only 3 or 4 people in the world, Richard, ten at the most -

REJ:- Just carry on. I'll wait until you run out. I hate it when she's -

Dr.B:- And 6 billion of them -

REJ:- That's more than ten! -

Dr.B:- No, that's one. And six billion of them think they are ghosts. -

REJ:- Just keep going....Sioned be back soon -

Dr.B:- Six billion think they are ghosts!...WOOOO!...I'm a ghost!...WOOOO!....look at me!....I'm a ghost!!!....WOOOO!!!...I'm a magic man!...WOOOO!!!....I'm a magic lady!.....WOOOOO!!!...I'm a -

REJ:- Iesu Grist! - bloody Tescos twoforonebogoff isn't it Sioned?!...then she'll be talking to the check out merched, then she'll be talking to the bloody wrong number on the phone for half an hour...then -

Dr.B:- WOOOO!!!....People thinking they're ghosts Richard!....WOOOO!!!!....ghosts!!! -

REJ:- *...'in case of emergency strike head with this'...* *clunk!* -

DR.B:- Diolch! Yes as I was saying, there are dualists among us. Dualism is the default and wired-in position of children, Richard, and for a very good reason -

REJ:- And what is that? -

Dr.B:- They are stupid! Yes! magic or machines, machines or magic. That is what we are, us humans. And we're a bit old to be believing in magic aren't we Richard? -

REJ:- We are. What?! - it's not magic to believe you're...I mean - machines!...er...transcendence!...um....that's it! - what about the transcendence?. You gopping-minga-mong! -

Dr.B:- Well it's not very transcendent is it? - can't transcend the smallest cut in the wire can it? lol! - as the young people say. I believe I may have just pwned you Richard. Although I'm not quite sure what that means -

REJ:- Yes well...er...it was nice of you to call -

Dr.B:- And that means we are machines! And machines can be fixed Richard! Within the physics of our spacetime! And we shall have immortality! for the drivers at the level of the self are trivially simple! and we know them personally, and we can't know future technology, but we can know what we shall try to do! However silly! However stupid the drivers of the program are! Because they are evolved for a different environment! Yet the biological bible shall be obeyed! chapter and verse! - become as gods we shall answer our own prayers! -

REJ:- *text!* *Sioned!!! get back here and get this nutter out of here!* - *ok - if they really are 8 part-baked croissants for the price of four....go onlinephone and check Asda's price...* -

Dr.B:- Now, immortality shall be the death of us, the death of humanity -

REJ:- You're talking to yourself now space-cadet! la-la-la! Richard can't hear you! -

Dr.B:- Well then, as that doesn't matter - the end of humanity being far from a nihilistic view...-

REJ:- la-la-la! -

Dr.B:- I shall tell you instead of Dr. Bendi's marvellous theory of mind. And how it works. And how it is trivially manipulated. And how there are only 3 or 4 or tenatthemost in the world. And how we can manipulate them all. And make everybody happy. And -

REJ:- David Icke! Sam Harris! la-la-la! loony tunes! la-la-la! -

Dr.B:- You mistake me for a stupid person, Richard. Perhaps because of the flashing eyes, the floating hair! -

REJ:- Perhaps because of the floating horseshit! - tell me then of your theory of mind. And whether you have seen an elephant fly or not. -

Dr.B:- I haven't. That would be incongruent with reality absolute. Yet not ruled out before spacetime. Before physics, when there was no physics. When there was no where. When there was no when. Do you know how probability works outside of spacetime, Richard?

REJ:- She must be back soon...-

Dr.B:- There exists, in every normal person, two genies. The -

REJ:- Jesus Christ!!! -

Dr.B:- The Goethe-magic genies. Now the bad genie must be uncorked, and vented to atmos, and diffused and defunct....and the good genie must be kept bottled, yet released -

REJ:- wibble! - you said there was no such thing as ghosts! -

Dr.B:- I'm being metaphorical! -

REJ:- I've heard that before! -

Dr.B:- And released geared through the cogs and chains of constructive reason, with the Watt steam-governer of scepticism, yet the fiery belly of passion, while outside all remains a purposeless collapse into chaos -

REJ:- Time to go I think! - *click!* - *slam!* -

Dr.B:- Oooh! it's dark!...anyway, the steamoflife zest good-genie must be channeled through the switches of the delta of the mind thought-river, which can be considered as bifurcating steam-valve-decision-rivulets, and the switches are transloadable with the weighting of the zip-memes. The zip-memes are...

Aladdin and the magic vote.

What is this life if full of care
We have no time to torture Blair?

Five and twenty thrice-nine miles,
cross the hills and o'er the stiles,
takes you where the wonders whiles,
and long past reason crosses.

Yes. That is what it says on the footpath postulates from Llanwrthwl to Llanwrtyd via Llanbloodysteephill. But is electoral reform something that can be trusted to our elected representatives? Or is there a conflict of inertia? What if votes really counted - and stupid people had their say? All these are trivial questions, but to pretend they are serious, we turn to no less than Aladdin, prince of noble savage gypsies, and Michael Jackson's favourite videogrammatical character. 'Let's get Aladdin' he would squeak to Tito and the one of the other ones. And drink some 'Jesus juice'. etc.

Now when Aladdin rubbed his magic vote, a genie - a popular mythical thing - appeared, and granted him three laws that would do fuck all...