Helo. Now I'm often told that breakfast is the most important meal of the morning. And the way to a man's heart is through his ribs. But barbecue ribs is an unhealthy breakfast. It's hard to keep up with the fads. Anyway it's dinner time, and joining me for a feast of foolery is a man who needs an introduction, and security clearance, and a touch of febreeze by the smell of it, - the not-quite-so-screaming-now Lord Sutch. Not-quite-so-screaming-now Lord Sutch! Croeso i Llanfihangel-y-creuddun! -
NQSSNLS:- Hello Richard! -
REJ:- Hello. Nawrte boys bach, have you got any healthy living tips for the bored? -
NQSSNLS:- Not really, I hanged myself -
REJ:- And how did that work out for you? -
NQSSNLS:- Pretty final really. You see my mother died, and -
REJ:- But did you feel healthier in your self? -
NQSSNLS:- Do you want my hat? -
REJ:- Diolch yn fawr iawn! Yes indeed! Such esprit de corpse.
NQSSNLS:- No, seriously, it should be the last thing you do -
REJ:- Not quite, not-quite-so-screaming-now Lord Sutch! the last thing anyone should do is an interview with me -
NQSSNLS:- Well make it quick cos I want to watch Wimbledon.
REJ:- Me too.
NQSSNLS:- Fire away then -
REJ:- Well you're rushing me now. I've already missed the manifest-o pun.
NQSSNLS:- Ok I'll just tell you about my Loony lotto. Now there are 6 million households in the UK with an average net wealth of £4 million each. There are 20 million households. Now what is 6 x 4? -
REJ:- er...some fours -
NQSSNLS:- How many? -
REJ:- About six -
NQSSNLS:- Let's pretend it's 24 -
REJ:- Ooooh! you loony! you can't just go around pretending things and hope that it's too complicated for people to notice.
NQSSNLS:- So if you put all the money in a hat and made every ticket win, then every one would have a million pounds. One ticket per household. Terms and conditions don't apply -
REJ:- What's the four million spare for? -
NQSSNLS:- the hat.
REJ:- Hmmmm. What's my line now? -
NQSSNLS:- Well you have to make it sound silly -
REJ:- Wimbledon! Come on Tim!