Sunday, 26 June 2011

Screaming Lord Sutch and the Loony lotto

Helo. Now I'm often told that breakfast is the most important meal of the morning. And the way to a man's heart is through his ribs. But barbecue ribs is an unhealthy breakfast. It's hard to keep up with the fads. Anyway it's dinner time, and joining me for a feast of foolery is a man who needs an introduction, and security clearance, and a touch of febreeze by the smell of it, - the not-quite-so-screaming-now Lord Sutch. Not-quite-so-screaming-now Lord Sutch! Croeso i Llanfihangel-y-creuddun! -

NQSSNLS:- Hello Richard! -

REJ:- Hello. Nawrte boys bach, have you got any healthy living tips for the bored? -

NQSSNLS:- Not really, I hanged myself -

REJ:- And how did that work out for you? -

NQSSNLS:- Pretty final really. You see my mother died, and -

REJ:- But did you feel healthier in your self? -

NQSSNLS:- Do you want my hat? -

REJ:- Diolch yn fawr iawn! Yes indeed! Such esprit de corpse.

NQSSNLS:- No, seriously, it should be the last thing you do -

REJ:- Not quite, not-quite-so-screaming-now Lord Sutch! the last thing anyone should do is an interview with me -

NQSSNLS:- Well make it quick cos I want to watch Wimbledon.

REJ:- Me too.

NQSSNLS:- Fire away then -

REJ:- Well you're rushing me now. I've already missed the manifest-o pun.

NQSSNLS:- Ok I'll just tell you about my Loony lotto. Now there are 6 million households in the UK with an average net wealth of £4 million each. There are 20 million households. Now what is 6 x 4? -

REJ:- er...some fours -

NQSSNLS:- How many? -

REJ:- About six -

NQSSNLS:- Let's pretend it's 24 -

REJ:- Ooooh! you loony! you can't just go around pretending things and hope that it's too complicated for people to notice.

NQSSNLS:- So if you put all the money in a hat and made every ticket win, then every one would have a million pounds. One ticket per household. Terms and conditions don't apply -

REJ:- What's the four million spare for? -

NQSSNLS:- the hat.

REJ:- Hmmmm. What's my line now? -

NQSSNLS:- Well you have to make it sound silly -

REJ:- Wimbledon! Come on Tim!

1 comment:

  1. You should do a post on elevatorgate.