Monday, 18 April 2016

Holy Text

Self-abasing over head projector humble-modest alter ego unreflective abject-simple, chaste-but-never-caught, pudic anotherwordformodest, Vicar of Christ on Earth, Francis Saint dolittle, has a friend so clever, you wouldn't believe it. But fortunately faith is not required, for although the mechanism of transmission is beyond the feeble proddings of science, the message itself comes through loud and clear, and understanding of the magic medium is not required to hear the magic message, so generously translated...

Fsd:- 'In my Father's house are many rooms. And a rather nice ceiling I don't look at too closely.' -

Fsd:- 'In fact there are so many spare rooms - perhaps as many as 12! - it's enough to make Mr. Osborne cry. But one shouldn't cry in church on happy occasions.' -

Fsd:- 'My friend is clever beyond your comprehension. And He has revealed to me, that there is inequality on Earth. For mysterious reasons, poverty breeds despair and descent into fantasy. Here you will find the church ever happy to help.' -

Fsd:- 'Some people have been meekly inheriting vast fortunes in property and money, and using shady accounting to avoid tax. Blood is thicker than water, and avoiding inheritance tax is only infanticidal if you count other people's children, often far away.' -

Fsd:- 'Concentrate, and see the miracle of undiluted blood from water, - transparently the Spirit of dilution of responsibility at work.' -

Fsd:- 'Infanticide is objectively wrong, and anyone who builds their house on...sorry there's a bit of interference....anyone who builds their church on.....sorry I'm going through a tunnel.....Oooh! look at the light!....anyone who by their fruits is a servant of.....sorry, who is this?!' -

*number withheld*

2 comments:

  1. Oh Yes. Let's spend time thinking about every word here.

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  2. Utterly brilliant. Again. Bastard :)

    ReplyDelete