TB:- Mass Killer

Third-class minah lawyer, Rictus GrinBlair, has too much to shoulder to shoulder. But after scouring the Earth for years in vain, he has at last found a friend, in the realm of his imagination. Croeso i llanfihangel-y-Creuddun, Rictus GrinBlair! -

RGB:- Call me Tony -

REJ:- Don't smile then -

RGB:- Look, are you just going to like, look, like, are you going to like just make things up, or use direct quotes? -

REJ:- Whatever makes you look best -

RGB:- Listen. I read the Bible everyday, I read the Koran everyday. But should an investment banker make more in a week than a nurse does in 5 years? You can debate that, but I don't know the answer.

REJ:- I know the answer -

RGB:- Btw, did you make that one up?

REJ:- I'm not that good.

RGB:- Don't mention the war -

REJ:- Blessed are the peacemakers. Now when Martin McGuinness was made minister for education, a lot of people felt Caligula's horse mistreated by history. But can you think of a sillier appointment? -

RGB:- Saddam Hussein was a very bad man -

REJ:- I trust and fear your intelligence. But how, alone in the world, did you come to notice? And what makes a very bad man? Or invisible man? -

RGB:- That's a very difficult question. But, look, I'm not going to text Mandy. A morality shared is amorality squared. Lets get this sorted. Look, I'll throw my script away, we won't be needing this - *fling!...rehearsed ad-lib* etc Do you like my sweat? -

REJ:- Keep going -

RGB:- Look, war is a very difficult subject. But basically, lets be honest, if a genocidal german wears a symmetrical cross, and no hat, he is a bad man. But if a genocidal german wears an asymmetrical-about-horizontal cross, and a big hat, he is a good man, and should be worshipped. Invisible genocide's the best of all. -

REJ:- Wel, say what you like about Him, He did make the universes run on time. So Saddam was german? -

RGB:- No big hat, Richard!, no big hat! -

REJ:- What about the cross? -

RGB:- He did symmetrical crosswords. It says so in this dossier. -

REJ:- Shame about Cook and Kelly -

RGB:- Ah, those troublesome priests. Yes, that was terribly bad luck. Fancy them both -

REJ:- Rather than Cherie, yes -

RGB:- It was starving the children I enjoyed the most -

REJ:- er...

RGB:- *Beep!....o..f...f...m...e..s...s..a..g..e....* -

REJ:- Tell me about Ratzi again. Only there was something about your eyes -

RGB:- Oh, he's lovely. Said it was all alright - no one was really dead, I should go easy on myself, forgive it all away, - that sort of thing. I felt much better trusting my instincts that I had trusted before but which were wrong because I had trusted them too much and hadn't had my new correct instincts to trust correctly but instead had trusted the wrong kind of Jesus, like a fool.

REJ:- Ah that was it! Must milk the goat.