Third-class minah lawyer, Rictus GrinBlair, has too much to shoulder to shoulder. But after scouring the Earth for years in vain, he has at last found a friend, in the realm of his imagination. Croeso i llanfihangel-y-Creuddun, Rictus GrinBlair! -
RGB:- Call me Tony -
REJ:- Don't smile then -
RGB:- Look, are you just going to like, look, like, are you going to like just make things up, or use direct quotes? -
REJ:- Whatever makes you look best -
RGB:- Listen. I read the Bible everyday, I read the Koran everyday. But should an investment banker make more in a week than a nurse does in 5 years? You can debate that, but I don't know the answer.
REJ:- I know the answer -
RGB:- Btw, did you make that one up?
REJ:- I'm not that good.
RGB:- Don't mention the war -
REJ:- Blessed are the peacemakers. Now when Martin McGuinness was made minister for education, a lot of people felt Caligula's horse mistreated by history. But can you think of a sillier appointment? -
RGB:- Saddam Hussein was a very bad man -
REJ:- I trust and fear your intelligence. But how, alone in the world, did you come to notice? And what makes a very bad man? Or invisible man? -
RGB:- That's a very difficult question. But, look, I'm not going to text Mandy. A morality shared is amorality squared. Lets get this sorted. Look, I'll throw my script away, we won't be needing this - *fling!...rehearsed ad-lib* etc Do you like my sweat? -
REJ:- Keep going -
RGB:- Look, war is a very difficult subject. But basically, lets be honest, if a genocidal german wears a symmetrical cross, and no hat, he is a bad man. But if a genocidal german wears an asymmetrical-about-horizontal cross, and a big hat, he is a good man, and should be worshipped. Invisible genocide's the best of all. -
REJ:- Wel, say what you like about Him, He did make the universes run on time. So Saddam was german? -
RGB:- No big hat, Richard!, no big hat! -
REJ:- What about the cross? -
RGB:- He did symmetrical crosswords. It says so in this dossier. -
REJ:- Shame about Cook and Kelly -
RGB:- Ah, those troublesome priests. Yes, that was terribly bad luck. Fancy them both -
REJ:- Rather than Cherie, yes -
RGB:- It was starving the children I enjoyed the most -
RGB:- *Beep!....o..f...f...m...e..s...s..a..g..e....* -
REJ:- Tell me about Ratzi again. Only there was something about your eyes -
RGB:- Oh, he's lovely. Said it was all alright - no one was really dead, I should go easy on myself, forgive it all away, - that sort of thing. I felt much better trusting my instincts that I had trusted before but which were wrong because I had trusted them too much and hadn't had my new correct instincts to trust correctly but instead had trusted the wrong kind of Jesus, like a fool.
REJ:- Ah that was it! Must milk the goat.