Our revenge will be the laughter of our children

Now hands up who thinks say 20 countries have more money than 200. Including the 20. Oooh! we have a taker. And indeed if it isn't it certainly is, transnational arbitragic slave-trader Steve 'arbeit macht frei' Jobs. Croeso i Lanfihangel-yr-creuddyn, Steve 'Arbeit macht frei' Jobs! -

SAMFJ:- Someone else write my autobiography -

REJ:- Now they call you the Damien Hirst of technology -

SAMFJ:- Called -

REJ:- Wel, they didn't. But can you explain why you were a geius? -

SAMFJ:- The predictive text said it when I typed bullythief -

REJ:- I thought it learnt the user? -

SAMFJ:- F knows. I just dossed about while others did it -

REJ:- I think you're getting mixed up -

SAMFJ:- Mind the app. Adam Smith was right. He wrote the wealth of nations. Not the wealth within nations. Yet nations are nations within nations. Yes. I think. er -

REJ:- Now you once famously said something stupid about a screw -

SAMFJ:- Yes. I remembered that director of Gone with the wind that said their underwear should be authentic, because they would know -

REJ:- Inspired -

SAMFJ:- Yes I often was -

REJ:- Anything you did that was original? -

SAMFJ:- Oh almost everything. I invented the mouse, the cat and the dog. At least. Then I invented gossip. Fuck! Let me type that again. Zuckerburg. lol. zxbdfvwidfu. Bollox. What's that? -

REJ:- Now I can't get this itunes shit off my computer -

SAMFJ:- Yes, that's the idea -

REJ:- Now you also invented the apple. Just after the Beatles. How are you doing in China? -

SAMFJ:- Wel, I don't follow the cases so much these days. But I think 50p an hour and no toilets. I can't know precisely, as I only arranged it -

REJ:- Mr. Ambassador, with these Ferrero Rocher you are spoiling us -

SAMFJ:- That doesn't 'cross the pond' -

REJ:- Wel, make up your own shit then -

SAMFJ:- There must be a short-cut -

REJ:- Now we are amused whenever Mcdonuts sues a Scotch for mutual advertising. But I believe you own the letter i -

SAMFJ:- Yes -

REJ:- Can we have it back? -

SAMFJ:- Sorry, No. Click 'Share' -

REJ:- ihate iyou -

SAMFJ:- They ilove ime -

REJ:- They may ibe itwats -

SAMFJ:- I think they're very iastute. 10ip please -

REJ:- Now when you invented the shitter computer, the icunt, combined with the isave on the manual, did you know in advance you could stop the Koreans making a better shitter computer for a tenth of the price? -

SAMFJ:- I don't reMurdochmembercall that particular case. I am dead you know -

REJ:- Not dead enough IMO -

SAMFJ:- Wel, you're just jealous -

REJ:- Indeed yes. I am often jealous of dog faeces. I watch them turn from dark to light. In the rain. And I am envious. I want to be one. Yes. -

SAMFJ:- You forget I was a wealth creator -

REJ:- You forget I have the highest recorded reasoning ability of any human in history. By some margin. -

SAMFJ:- Small pond -

REJ:- Dumb test. So is the Turing. But let's not get personal. Now the individual dies, the nation lives on. Is there any other way we might Godwin you? -

SAMFJ:- That's a bit harsh. I did have people glue Scrabble blocks into computers. Remember that at least -

REJ:- Now if you get a radio. And a clockwork. And a clockwork a radio. Perhaps via some kind of clockwork a radio. You are an inventor. But could this not be even more inventabled by adding the letter i? -

SAMFJ:- i think so -

REJ:- And if you invented a hoover, perhaps via some kind of sucking mechanism, and stupid people bought it, but not anyone who hoovers professionally, because it is shit, but odd colours, like what how a launderette doesn't buy shit washing machines. etc. Do you think you could sack everyone and go to Malaysia for more theft and still be a hero? -

SAMFJ:- I am absolutely convinced. The figures speak for themselves -

REJ:- Indeed they do -

SAMFJ:- Are you trying to be clever? -

REJ:- No, just cleverer than you. I'm not trying at all -

SAMFJ:- It shows -

REJ:- If a bear is chasing you, you need only run faster than your 'friend'. You are very much my 'friend' -

SAMFJ:- I have added value. And changed the way people communicate forever. And caused the arab spring. Yes. -

REJ:- What a busy bee. I remember when Hasselhoff brought down the Berlin wall -

SAMFJ:- Yes -

REJ:- And when Paul McCartney sang 'freedom'. Just after ten past nine -

SAMFJ:- Yes -

REJ:- Now when you died of cancer, did you notice you lived in a morally bankrupt country because of people like yourself, or was there an app le t for pretending you earned your money? -

SAMFJ:- I was patched up fine -

REJ:- While the richest country on earth denies it's people healthcare, and bombs others regular and go large. RIP Mr.Jobs. Well done.