Saturday, 17 March 2012

Poem for the day

Jesus Iesu Mawr Grist! Perhaps 'bumbling taffy twat' was a bit harsh for our Rowan. The fuckwit gurning imbecile. If only he had some sort of common reference point, some sort of coherent manual, then schism could be avoided. Wel, the good news from CERN is that neutrinos no longer travel faster than light, thanks to 'a new technique' in pressing the stopwatch. Sioned says it's as useful as Anne Frank's drumkit – whatever that means – and indeed I can't ask her for you, as she has had to pop out to her new pubic-macrame class, down the Merched-y-Wawr. The last of the Mohicans. I expect I'll find out later why they didn't last. Nawrte, nothing never existed, and continues to not-exist to this day. But it's always better to talk to people 'within revelation', as if we were conscious sort of thing. Helo, who's this? -

Idris ?:- I don't know, because you haven't done the archive properly yet. All I remember is that I'm the one who likes insects -

REJ:- Who doesn't?, Idris whatsyoursurname, who doesn't indeed! -

Idris ?:- And I've got a little joke for you -

REJ:- Just do the pome -

Idris ?:- An ant walks into a bar -

REJ:- Why? Why Idris? -

Idris ?:- I think my Mam was fond of the name -

REJ:- No why did the ant walk into the bar? -

Idris ?:- I was coming to that -

REJ:- Wel, have you got there yet? -

Idris ?:- Wel it's thirsty, isn't it? -

REJ:- I don't know, Idris, I've no idea! I've never met this ant. Can't you just do the poem? Be cheaper if it went down the SPAR -

Idris ?:- Good God m'n, you can't have ants down the SPAR can you? -

REJ:- * answer removed on legal advice * 

Idris ?:- And the ant says to the aphid, have you got a match? -

REJ:- Hmmm.....interesting. Why does the ant want a match? -

Idris ?:- I don't know, he never said -

REJ:- Wel, maybe it was dark -

Idris ?:- No, I don't think it was dark - 

REJ:- Wel, maybe it was after having a fag - 'smygu y mwg drwg -

Idris ?:- Look he never said! He never said why! He just wanted a fucking match -

REJ:- No, Idris whoeveryouare bach, ants don't just want matches. There must be a reason. And if you ask me, it's very suspicious. Very suspicious indeed. Yes. An ant asking for a match. Did no one think to ask why? Was it a worker or a soldier? -

Idris ?:- I'm not sure, a worker I think -

REJ:- Was it red or black? -

Idris ?:- Neither. Both. Look it doesn't matter -

REJ:- Oooh Idris! Forgive me, but I think you're being a little bit naïve there isn't it? Don't you? Yes indeed to goodness Iesu Mawr ofnadwy. It could have repercussions. It could -

Idris ?:- And the aphid says 'Your face, my arse' -

REJ:- I hope Priestland keeps it together for the big match. He's got the sneezes of the kneeses, as they say  in Cnwch-y-Craig. You see, he's red. Makes a difference, doesn't it? Now when Carwyn's red sosbans   beat the all blacks in -

Idris ?:- You didn't get it did you? -

REJ:- Yes I did! I got the DVD -

Idris ?:-

You are old, Father Time, the young man said
And your hands are all withered and worn
And yet you incessantly tick in my head
Do you think I am older than born?

In my youth, said the age, I was faster than still
And that was what slowered the pace
Then now you are seven from dusk until dawn
As your cells we repletely replace

You are young, Father Time, the old man said
And your hands are as smooth as a feel
And yet you unwind with a tock and I'm dead
As the cotton escapes from the reel

In my age, moment said, I was slow like a brick
And I sank to the sands of the sea
With my will I endowed coral kingdoms so bled
Til the last of my physics was free

You are middle-aged, Father -

REJ:- * trapdoor!* There is a limit you know -


  1. Funny, clever and up to date. Wales won the grand slam too - what a day!

  2. Jokes as old as time itself but still fresh as a daisy. Certainly puts a spring in the step and a nowruz mobarak btw. 05:14:27 AM, Tuesday March 20, 2012 if resetting the Gregorian vernal stopwatch in Cymru.