Sunday, 7 August 2011


REJ:- Dear Powys County Council. It has been a long struggle -

Paperclip!:- Hello! It looks like you're trying to write a psychopathic manifesto. Would you -

REJ:- I will in a minute you little -

Paperclip!:- Would you like to play monopoly? -

REJ:- SIONED! There's something wrong with ffenestrations nawdeg pump again! -

SIONED:- What do you want me to do? -

REJ:- I want you to fix the operating system. That's an IT term. -

SIONED:- Ok go to Start -

REJ:- Start -

SIONED:- My computer -

REJ:- My computer -

SIONED:- Dull fucker in mirror -

REJ:- I wonder if I can break the fourth wall in 2D. I can. Mirror neurons on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? Snow right. Now the digital age is upon us. 6 billion base pairs in a locust. I prefer Vinyl. Sioned has been improbably Mcafee'd away and instead I've downloaded Mr. Prysor ap Plasma, he of the committee for the erection of public monuments. Prysor ap Plasma! Croeso i that real place but with one letter mutated! -

PAP:- Diolch.

REJ:- Wel you've kissed the Blarney stone -

PAP:- The locals wee on it -

REJ:- Don't believe everything you hear. Just the exciting things -

PAP:- Was there some reason you downloaded me? Or were you just browsing and got distracted? -

REJ:- I have free will and take responsibility for my pixels -

PAP:- And so you should. Because thought-crimes are action-crimes and you can be jailed for it. And rightly so. Symboltastic. Now the power of symbols cannot be denied. While you accept people are vampires, great caution must be exorcised in the erection of symbols. -

REJ:- The glorious undead -

PAP:- They did not undie in vain -

REJ:- Except when they did.

PAP:- Now as everybody knows, the population of Britain dies every year -

REJ:- They must be fed up -

PAP:- But temporal constraints make it difficult to organise which to feel sad about in what order -

REJ:- If only someone could tell us -

PAP:- Perhaps stones can. I'm joking of course. They can. Now short-cuts to base emotions are always helpful -

REJ:- Yes, superstimuli give the clearest thoughts -

PAP:- Correct. We need only look at Austrians protecting stones but killing people -

REJ:- I feel big hats may be important too -

PAP:- Yes, plastic flowers even more so.

REJ:- Really? plastic flowers? -

PAP:- If they're the right colour. People are not bulls, Richard, they're not colour-blind. Apart from the ones that are -

REJ:- I'm sure that meant something -

PAP:- Tell me the secret of man's red fire -

REJ:- What are you? Some kind of ape?! -

PAP:- No, a fallen angel. Let's get back to the masons. Anyone who forgets plagiarism is doomed to repeat it -

REJ:- Wel I've heard of Americaland, since my teachers told me Madog discovered it.

PAP:- That's correct. It hadn't been there before.

REJ:- And I heard it was a melting pot. Where Indians were melted -

PAP:- Don't call them that. Imagine how that would feel. Worse than melting -

REJ:- I thought trivialising it would make them feel better -

PAP:- You must be more careful, since signals depend on their receivers -

REJ:- Are the receivers mutable? -

PAP:- Oh yes, remotely even. And they've left themselves open source.

REJ:- I'm afraid my attention span is driven by a return to homeostasis watt steam governor in molecular form, tuned to frivolous, and I've just seen a squirrel -

PAP:- That's ok, I can ressurrect you with a cross.

REJ:- I doubt you could. Who's putting up a cross, the dull fuckers! -

PAP:- Some civil engineers in earth-land -

REJ:- Well I have a strong feeling about this one way or the other. Steel is magnetic.

PAP:- Metaphorically, yes. It can talk too. But what should it say? -

REJ:- I'm not sure. Would it not depend on the hearers? -

PAP:- Of course, but knowing what the hearers hear, what should it say? -

REJ:- Well if no one hears it -

PAP:- Look who gathers around to hear it.

REJ:- Look at it! Look at its silly tail!

1 comment:

  1. Good news - REJ is back writing again. He is a genius.