Llanwrtyd Wells is host to many world famous events noone outside of Powys has heard of:- the world bog snorkelling championships, the man versus horse marathon hill race, and for the first time this year, the Llanwrtyd Wells pro/celebrity mine clearance televisual special, or LLWPCMCTS for short. Town criersmith Matthew 'the voice' Jones is very excited to have secured the talents of Rolf Harris, Bruce Forsyth and thatguyoutofeastenders for the event and next week they will be lining up against the Royal Engineers elite explosive ordinance disposal unit. I can't wait.
REJ:- Now Matthew Jones, excuse me - hello -
MJ:- Hello! -
REJ:- Yes, what do you want?
MJ:- I want to do my OYYYEAAEAAAY thing, but you haven't got big enough letters.
REJ:- Well Matthew can you tell me - and I'm sure you can - just how excited you are to have secured the aforementioned A-list celebrities for your event?
MJ:- Moderately, I think Richard
REJ:- Indeed. Best not to go overboard now isn't it?
MJ:- Yes - that way disappointment lies
REJ:- Well that's a sensible attitude to take -
MJ:- Thanks Richard
REJ:- Now Matthew, we must be getting on. Sioned will need a servicing later or she will be out 'running with the bull' as we say in these parts -
MJ:- er - noone said anything about that - Mair from the Post Office just said to come and talk about -
REJ:- Can you explain to us the format of the televisual special?
MJ:- Well yes I can indeed. Fifty mines have been buried in cae mawr - Dai Edwards' setaside - and Rolf, Bruce and thatguyoutofeastenders have ten minutes to defuse as many as they can. Each safely defused mine is worth 10 points to their team. And points mean prizes. What do points mean? -
REJ:- PRIZES! hahaha.
MJ:- Good game!
REJ:- Good game!
MJ:- Didn't they do well?
REJ:- Let's have a look at the old scoreboard!
MJ:- Here they are they're so amusing, ok Royal Engineer explosive ordinance disposal elite unit and A-list celebrities - do your defusing!
REJ:- Ooooh good one! I bet that catches on. Ok what happens next?
MJ:- Well it's the pilot show. If it goes well the BBC -
REJ:- No I meant what happens next in the game?
MJ:- Oh but you'll have to tune in and see Richard! It's on S4C Saturday 6:15pm for the dinner time audience
REJ:- Well indeed we all will. And Matthew I wish you every success and hope the show goes with a -
MJ:- bang. Yes. I saw that coming Richard -
REJ:- Did you now? Well did you see this coming - ooof! - you did. How abou- aaaargh - Iesu mawr! that's enough now! - Sioned! SIONED!