Santa-bearded hocus-pocus close-up homosexuellist magician, James Randy, says on his electro-not-arachno-website that he will give me a million dollarpounds if I demonstrate the para-magic to his scientific satisfaction. Unfortunately, Yiddish spoon-bending would seem to be paramagica non grata, but I haven't let this put me off - think of the scratchcards! - and indeed I have enhatched a plot so cunning, that even Richard Curtis would be impressed. What I have done, you see isn't it, is post a letter-bomb to Uri Geller. Urrrii will then use his magic powerrrrrs to stare at the letter-bomb - as if constipated - and perhaps doing something embarassing with his hands, and then, having paramagically determined it's contents, put it to one side to be opened later by the cleaner. Once the newyddion gets to Randy he'll be straight over with the lolly, although something tells me he won't be staying at Mrs Pugh's Bed a Brecwast. Not in her house. I really hope Uri can do it!....only now I come to think of it, I've got that tenner in the biscuit tin...and there's probably some change down the back of the sofa...and under the car seat...hmmmm - the poem! I almost remembered. Today's poem is called 'ant'.
Last night I spied a wandering ant
a-pondering on Immanuel Kant
It sat beside a thoughtful flea
And talked epistemology
Or did I squash them with a broom?
- The flea he was a fan of Hume -
A spider abseiled silken-line
Then chipped in with some Wittgenstein
The mantis was a sulky creature
who spoilt the mood with quotes from Nietzsche
But still! - what fun it is to see